Untangling the Knot

Twenty-five deeply personal essays remind us marriage is not the same as family. It’s not the same as sex, orientation, or love. It’s not the same as inclusivity. And the law is not the same as acceptance. Amid queer voices that explore LGBTQ stories and perspectives often left out of the marriage equality debate, one note resonates, best described by editor Carter Sickels: "There is still so much work to be done."

"This book's mix of viewpoints demonstrates the complexity of the defining struggle of gay rights in our time, showing that gay marriage is not the monolith that political expedience often makes it seem. These writers speak with passion about love, law, loss, generational differences, and identity. This is an urgent and timely book. "

- Andrew Solomon, author of Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity and The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression


"Moving and heartfelt, Untangling the Knot is a validating reality check for every queer activist who has been pushed to the margins for challenging the tidy and normalized sound bites about marriage. Talented storytellers with remarkably diverse identities and perspectives are reclaiming the pressing issues that have been masked by mainstream marriage fever."

- Abigail Garner, author of Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents tell It Like It


"Untangling the Knot is a valuable contribution not only to discussions of same-sex marriage but also to debates about priorities for the LGBTQ movement and indeed for all movements for social change. The collection is a joy to read and fruitful to contemplate."

- Amy Hoffman, author of Lies About My Family and editor in chief of Women's Review of Books


"Untangling the Knot: Queer Voices on Marriage, Relationships and Identity assembles pieces from diverse contributors, college professors and blue-collar workers, some established writers and some never before published. Edited by Carter Sickels, these extremely sharp essays offer a startling array of perspectives on the fight for same-sex marriage in the United States, rendering a deceptively simple concept--that the needs of the LGBTQ community range far beyond marriage--fully and feelingly. Published as the Supreme Court agrees to hear arguments about same-sex marriage on a nationwide level, Untangling the Knot is profoundly eye opening, even for readers well informed on the subject.

- Shelf Awareness


"The 25 contributors in [Carter Sickels’] compilation…display their desires, fears, concerns, and joys in diverse ways, each addressing the issues confronted when marriage is actually achieved and the real work begins. Here in these pages, the opinions are raw and unflinching in their honesty, each a breath of fresh air within a hotly contested debate that, for many, has become claustrophobic.

- Bay Area Reporter

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